BRACE YOUR MORTAL VESSELS! FOR IT IS TIME! CTHULHU WAKES! (Call of Cthulhu DARE Review no. 1)
Boy oh boy, is it that time of the week once more! GREETINGS, M̴̤͊O̷͙̕R̴̖̽T̴̨̆A̴̛̭L̵̹͝S̸͈̿, and welcome back once again to another blog post reeking of Superintendent Chris D. Funk's disapproval. This is the Reader in Yellow and I am your host, Ay Ay Ron Hilomen, and today we're starting a new book. If you haven't guessed by now: IT'S CALL OF CTHULHU! Hopefully that's approved despite being relatively short and I won't get punted off of the fourth floor of a two-story building by ESUHSD District Superintendent Chris D. Funk because of it. Without further ado, let us commence the INSANITY.
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| Oh yeah, he's got my vote. |
You know the story by now. Famed racist and cat lover H.P. Lovecraft was so afraid of everything that he ended up thinking a big octopus dragon man was so scary that he'd write an entire story about it. Beginning with the "Horror in Clay", the Call of Cthulhu is basically a voltron of three separate short stories (actually that makes it more like Getter Robo, to be honest, although Superintendent Chris Funk will surely crucify me should I derail this post about lovecraftian beings with any gushing over giant robots). The Horror in Clay follows a young lad who finds his great-granduncle's research notes and subsequently finds out about the real O.G. of eldritch beings. THE TENTACLE MAN HIMSELF, CTHULHU. In finding said research notes, he also discovers the existence of a clay bas relief depicting the "horrifying" (read: awesome, but Lovecraft's a little racist nerd who never leaves his closet) visage of a dude with an octopus head and dragon wings.
Truly a classic that is paid homage to in nearly every form of media that exists, from songs to novels to films to shows to plays and TTRPGS, and even a Dr Seuss book parody, (yes, a Dr Seuss parody) Call of Cthulhu is memorable for its creepy aesthetic, the intense moments, and obviously the big octopus man himself. While considerably lacking in length and giant robot fights, Call of Cthulhu more than makes up for it in sheer creativity that almost makes you forget that the author was a sniveling racist (although he apparently wanted to change for the better near the end of his life, around the time he wrote Colour out of Space).
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| It's legitimately real. You can buy a copy for around $20 |
So in spite of its racist author, Call of Cthulhu still strikes a chord with audiences today as it was truly one of the first predecessors of not only modern cosmic horror, but also internet creepypastas, and the legendary story of Old Man Henderson (to an extent). Were I ever called upon (get it?) to list my favorite horror stories, you'd bet your bas relief that Cthulhu'll be right up there around the top five of that list. In short, Cthulhu is an amazing elder being, and quite possibly powerful enough to rival the likes of the mighty Chris D. Funk himself. That'll be it for today's review, so remember, stay healthy, stay safe, stay frosty, and THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE. AND WITH STRANGE AEONS, EVEN DEATH MAY DIE!
P̵H̵'̸N̸G̷L̶U̴I̷ ̴ ̸M̷G̵L̵W̷'̶N̵A̸F̸H̷ ̸ ̷C̸T̶H̷U̸L̵H̷U̶ ̷ ̵R̷'̵L̴Y̸E̷H̷ ̴ ̷W̷G̶A̷H̷'̷N̵A̸G̸L̶ ̴ ̷F̴H̸T̶A̷G̴N̴!
Peace out, insane gang!
Some useful links to things I may have referenced earlier on:
Buy yourself a copy of the Dr Seuss edition of Call of Cthulhu
The story of Old Man Henderson (warning: not all that safe for the easily offended/kids)
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